Mental Health Awareness Month
I have recently come to terms with the fact that I suffer from depression and anxiety. I spent most, well, really all of my life, assuming that I was just introverted (well, I am) and people after some time got so draining, I had to hide away for a bit until I recharged. All of this is absolutely true, even if you don’t throw in my depression and anxiety, but I discovered that after spending so many years being high functioning, meaning I could go to work, complete tasks that are necessary to survive, I finally, nearly had a full mental breakdown. I ended up taking time off from work and seeking treatment and found after several weeks on antidepressants, I felt more like myself and the dark thoughts that shrouded me for months on end were finally silenced.
The thing with antidepressants though, is they’re meant to help, not fix, so while for the most part, I manage okay, I still have the bad days, weeks, and months, and recently I’ve been having a few bad weeks where I cannot even fathom getting out of bed, let alone finding enjoyment in the games I play and the storylines I’ve created.
Now normally, this is not something I would disclose. I’m a pretty private person but in the interest of Mental Health Awareness month and also for anyone who’s feeling similarly or has felt similarly to me, please know you’re not alone. There are millions of people walking a similar path, some of us just choose to be more vocal about it, and my hope is, that by being vocal, I might be able to help someone who truly needs it. I don’t think I’d be where I am not if someone had not done the same for me.
With that said, once I’m feeling more like myself again, you can expect an update. Whether or not they’ll be consistent is not something I can promise, I wish I could. Once upon a time, I would have, despite my mental health, but now I am finding the voice and strength to put my health first, if not for my sake, then for my the sake of my children.
***To those who took the time to read and understand, I truly appreciate it. It is your kindness and caring that helps me know that I have nothing to be ashamed about. I still battle the stigma and feel quite vulnerable and weak when I’m like this, so it really does mean the world that you took the time to read, care, and understand. Thank you.